siblings ..

2:10
I don't care what you think about me. What bullshit you got to say.

I live a complex life. I don't like many people knowing exactly what goes on in my life, but those few that know a lot about it, they KNOW what I go through EVERYDAY. Who I deal with daily, what I deal with daily ... Its starting to actually break me down, i've always said "just put shit aside and fuck it ignore it, don't let it get to you" I think its starting to get to me ... One of the situations of the straw that broke the camel's back. Whatever the fuck that saying is ... Honestly, I can and am an emotional guy ... If you know me ... I AM the type of guy to hold in everything ... I'm just that type of guy ... In which I think is because of how my family was and is growing up ... My mom and dad were never married. I have one real brother-Justin, one half brother-Jonathan, one step brother-Joshua, one step sister-Joanna. The way we like to look at is ... There is no step no half, were all real siblings ...

The fact is ... I'm right in the middle. Jonathan, Justin, JAY, Joanna, Joshua. Not only that, Jonathan lives on his own living his life ... Justin is now in the army ... Joshua and Joanna used to live with my dad in which now they live far as fuck ... So getting shit tossed around in that ... I have NOONE to really talk to, my dad is more of an acquaintance than a father and my mom is ALWAYS at work ... Growing up I thought oh damn I have a lot of siblings ... So I got that feeling I always have someone around ... But I got shot down ... I really don't have anyone ... All along i've been thinking .. The closest person I have to me is my brother Justin and my mom ... And I'm never with them, especially since Kuya Justin is stationed in Alaska.


People really need to appreciate the fact they ACTUALLY have siblings and have them there to help em .. I honestly wish I had that ...



I'm finally 18 I have no brother to take me out ... Strip club, morongo? I was super hyped that someone my uncle or somebody else would show me w'suhpp with it .. Just to even check it out, don't get me wrong, its not so appealing to me ... Just the whole experience with that person ... Or group ... It honestly idk, just makes me sorta depressed ...


I have a very random mind, and speaking it is very hard ...
A ride on my bike clears my head of stress and its great ... People ask me why the fuck you wanna go to so and so ... And its honestly because I wanna ride my bike ... It honestly helps me get through the day better ...
2:24
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